), Hi Kim – And she is the psycho type…breaking into our home, cutting up my things, texting and calling my husband constantly, telling her sons lies about me when she doesn’t even know me, stopping by our home unexpected on holidays, etc. For those women in less dire circumstances, I really recommend that healthy boundaries are helpful to everyone. Thanks everyone for the comments and fresh perspectives. Often such extremely uncooperative and undermining ex wives have some type of undiagnosed disorder (such as borderline personality disorder) in which conflict is almost like oxygen in a fire–it fuels further conflict. 6 cute, non-boring ways to tie a scarf ... Weird things we ALL do when an ex starts dating someone new. As for Wednesday’s point about the intrusive and uncooperative ex-wife…no easy solutions but I have found that no one has power unless we give it to them. If my husband puts her wants and needs before mine, if my husband consults her on things before he consults me, if my husband makes decisions with her that affect MY time and I am not consulted…then THAT’S why I care about the ex. 2. Before you decide if and/or how you’d like to engage with an ex who’s returned, it’s important to understand the various reasons why this person may have come back in the first place. NC again. Why do we put up with all the questions that social media dredges up that really we just should not have to know about? I need to make something clear. Susan. Let’s find out! So, it’s not really worth my time to fume and stew about her actions and choices. Mindy Gold. It is. Maybe when we’re hurt, we all turn to the same vice. Excellent reminder. Just cut him out of your life!! So I just wanted to point that out. After awhile, you do start caring about the ex. Hello there, I had experience same like you. It’s an old, out of date relationship! The only reason they care about staying connected with your friends is because these are the middlemen when it comes to talking to you or finding out things about you (that they can’t ask you). It sounds as if you are NOT completely over him... Go NC until you are and this wont bother you at all. You don't need sh*t like that! Between lawsuits, alienation, disturbing phone calls, requests for money, etc. He Maintains Non-Essential Contact . When I pointed this out, he seemed to realize that there was something odd about this. Thanks Wednesday. Thanks Joy for clarifying this, Joy. There was most likely a clear and definite need for the divorce. An ex needs compassion for all kinds of reasons and sometimes it’s just because she’s doing the best she can and she may or may not make the best decisions, but that’s life and one moves on. he wanted to talk and ask permission if he could still pay me a visit in my workplace. Others, who truly loved their ex, can't let go. I agree with Joy in Reply 16. It took ten years. I can breathe deeply, choose to not care about her, and decide that she has no impact on my life…but if my HUSBAND doesn’t do the same thing, then it’s futile. But more often than not, the ex-wife is not crazy and not dysfunctional, just as the stepmother is more often than not, not crazy and not dysfunctional. That way I don’t have to resent her …or you either. Isn’t it time to move on? My job is to help the stepcouple grow in their partnership in spite of the problems with the ex. It takes you off guard, it trips you up, it is a regressive experience from a relational point of view. We ALL need it. Some are afraid of getting out there again, so they keep their former relationship alive as a way of staying involved and not feeling single again," Walfish explains. Is My Ex Hurting Too: Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up. We broke up 6 weeks ago, been no contact for 3. The only ex's I care about are my son's father (and his wife) and my 1st ex husband (we have a daughter) and his wife. They also feel inferior because they are not the “real” moms. For the most part, I have been able to stick to that goal. Susan, I love the emphasis you put on the marital relationship in this piece. Its been okay. Bye means bye. And, I liked the comments about compassion. Then, last week, one of my friends told me that my cheating ex-boyfriend is having a baby with his new girlfriend and she’s already six months pregnant (it was unplanned, apparently). confused24, Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are critical when it comes to anyone who is being inappropriate, intrusive or unreasonable. I’m doing fine on my own. You set a good example for us all. I just have to focus on me and making myself better for the next guy who comes along. That is the reality and it is pointless to get in a power struggle with Reality. I must give him another chance! It's just the way it is. When you ask the question, “why do you care about the ex?” there are many, many answers, and not all of them within our control. I did take exception with this, “The truth is, the EX is yesterday’s news. I repeat WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE EX? Have cell-free hours during the week when you don’t have the kids, even if you’re home. First there’s jealousy. my ex and I are still texting 3 months since our affair ended and shes trying again with the ex she broke up with to start our thing. He’s always getting so emotional over everything that I say or do. He’s just not man enough for me. I just deleted him AGAIN from fb and emailed him explaining I just cant be friends. hello kate my ex tried to reach me out again days after i wrote here through our common friend on fb mssgnr(i wasn’t even read your reply yet). Kim is right – None of us are MATURE AND GROWN UP when we’re feeling badly. If that’s the case, the ex is a DISTANCER and DISTRACTOR in your stepcouple relationship. Susan. Celebrate your marriage with date night. - YouTube Clear editor. I really do think the issues are different when we get into this decade, or at least they take a slightly different slant. My partner’s ex was not an intrusive person and I have been able to ignore her existence pretty much: except that apparently she made two of her children into proxy warriors in her war against me and my partner. Why We Feel the Urge to Text an Ex "Many people can't stop thinking about their ex obsessively to ease a feeling of loneliness. Breakup Advice: Why Do I Care What My Ex is Doing? We need and must make our marriages the #1 priority. Stepmothers who do not support the parenting relationship are setting themselves up big time, and they will be the ones to suffer the most when resisting this natural relationship. If so, can you talk with him about discussing stuff with YOU first and HER SECOND. In my work with remarried couples, almost 100% of the time they come in for help, it’s because there has been so much focus on the kids and the ex-spouses that the marriage relationship is in the tanker. It is ever present. Saying goodbye to someone you love is sad. There are no other explanations why an ex would withhold your belongings from you. You don't need to show your ex anything. × ??? Was so mad. I can breathe deeply, choose to not care about her, and decide that she has no impact on my life…but if my HUSBAND doesn’t do the same thing, then it’s futile. No new wife or stepmother likes to accept that her partner loved someone else and had a child with HER. Good luck. Learn how your comment data is processed. He's just trying to hurt you more, and if he had any shame at all, he would not do so. He could barely care enough for me after 9 months, does he care about any of these girls and if he isnt 'ready for a serious commitment' as he told me why is he trying to meet any girl (by the way, some are NOT pretty at all)? She’s not attracted to you yet. Vacations away with NO children are a must when one can afford them. My relationship has suffered tremendously, to the point that we are taking a break, but working on dating and trying to mend our relationship. There are only 2 possible reasons why an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend would do that: Due to anger and bitterness for a perceived unfair treatment.   Your link has been automatically embedded. It’s an old, out of date relationship!” If there are children involved, there must and needs to be a current relationship. His perception is it’s not working, and anything you say isn’t going to change his mind. For example: When a guy is interacting with his ex, she might say something like, “I know you still care about me, but I really don’t have feelings for you anymore. (could we agree on this one instead of “don’t take things so personally? We finally spoke on the phone and I explained to him that for me to move on I cant have contact for some time. One sentence really resonated […]. And he stopped insisting on it. . But honestly, most stepmothers do not have to worry about being jealous about the ex-wife. Thanks A.J. So the answer to the question, “Why do you Care About the Ex” is “because HE still cares about her.” That’s the piece that doesn’t feel good. Display as a link instead, × I think he finally got it through his thick skull and he calmed down. Breaking up with your ex can be a very trying time in your life. My BFs ex-wife has been a dysfunctional distraction for almost the entire year that my stepdaughter has lived with us. The divorce rate for second marriages is ridiculously high for a reason. The stronger the stepcouple, the more support and love they have to raise his, hers and their children. Thanks to everyone for their balanced perspective on this. And you are letting it happen. Hi Elizabeth – Upload or insert images from URL. Why do exes come back? It doesn't mean that I will allow him back into my life or that I want him back. I think that putting the focus on our own marriages is a great idea…the one thing I would say in rebuttal is that it is often the husband who brings the ex-wife into the current relationship. If your ex finds you in person or texts you to let you know they still care, they probably do. 11. Being a stepmother is one humbling proposition. Public displays of affection are good for children to see. Feeling second fiddle, they have doubts about the strength of the stepcouple’s love and commitment to each other. Hi. I still love and care for him, always will. Susan Wisdom You may not want to, but really leaning in and feeling your emotions is integral to letting go of an ex. That’s a bitter pill. The truth is, the EX is yesterday’s news. Is he trying to just get some, rebel against the relationship we had? Please just leave me alone,” or “It’s over between us. No one can become a wedge between us – not his kids, not my kids, not his ex-wife. Some are unreliable, drug and alcohol affected, angry, and unfulfilled people. If you're currently wondering, "Why does my ex boyfriend keep asking me how I'm doing if he dumped me? Something maybe a bit perverse. No one has the exclusive rights to Crazy! The irony was that he only wanted me to socialize with the mean kids. He’s such a good guy! Thanks for your perspective. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Any past boyfriends....I DO NOT CARE. . This would be true for stepmothers as well. Some days I question if the misery it puts me through is even worth it. Too much focus on everything but the marriage. Let her be and spend good energy on relationships that count – your partner and the kids in your life, step or otherwise. I wrote some of my own thoughts on where I’m at in OUR situation this past week on my site, would love your feedback. The end of a relationship is always a difficult and confusing time in a person's life. Sex with your ex can help reveal why you chose to remain apart." For the first 2 years of our relationship, I turned my head the other direction. Do you find yourselves as a couple colluding in anger against HER (or HIM? Does my ex boyfriend not care about me and everything we had together anymore? Thanks for sharing! Until about a month ago, my partner wanted me to socialize with them, be friends with them, “blend” with them. So, now here I go. I dated my ex for three years and we broke up a little over a year ago. Anyone else want to share their successes and coping skills when bad stuff stuff happens? I wish my family would quit "stalking" the people that don't matter and then trying to "update" me on them. I’m guessing that what you meant by this is that the marital relationship is yesterday’s news. I agree, we need to focus on the current marriage, the one we are in, not the one our partner left behind. The only person that you should care about what they think is yourself, if you feel good about yourself and what you're doing then it doesn't matter what people think of you because at the end of the day some people will like you for you and some will not, you're in control of your own internal world so don't let other people take control of the driver seat. Fashion See All Fashion . You are right to point out that basically we all need to grow up and grow up quickly. At least not until some time has passed and his emotions have calmed down. Time to reconstruct? I guess you are right. Wow! It’s much easier, and it feels much better to be angry at the ex and keep her in a hostile place in your heart. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. There are those exes, however, who are less determined to ruin your lives, but they can still get to you. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. × Many exes are so angry and intruisive that it’s impossible to ignore them. If he talks with his ex before getting your feelings, opinions, thoughts etc, she’s in the loop …and you’re not. Often the new stepcouple bears the brunt of these unresolved emotional problems… sad to say. And so, difficult as it is, the best thing is to retreat and wait and live one’s own life. Being a strong marital team will help take care of this kind of ex-wife. Addendum: This is not to say that you should in any way ignore or drop your obligations to preserve the relationship between the ex and her (or his) biological children. She never cheated but did things behind my back and i stopped trusting her. Remember that. It's up to you to decide if you still care about them to try again or if you want to cut them loose completely. It's also important, especially for the romantics out there, to realize that just because you and your ex … Does your relationship feel more like a threesome than an intimate twosome? He seems to wonder what I’m doing too. I am stronger each day and KNOW very well he is not the one for me and has so many issues that are beyond my control. […] read a post by Susan Wisdom called “Why Do You Care About the Ex?” which addresses the reasons why some StepMoms focus on the BioMom. Read to the end and you'll find an excellent resource you can use immediately to help you understand every aspect of your man in a way few women will ever know. My husband and I are our own base camp – support, unity, mutual trust, friendship, and love – we make daily deposits into our marriage relationship. I knew it wasn’t my normal pattern, so I dealt with my health and voila, there is no more obsessing. Thanks again for the article–I hope it will help lots of women. Thanks. ", then this article can help you. And neat site, I came via Wednesday Martin! Again, this is no small task and we all have had our “days” when we needed to back up and regroup and begin again with a different perspective. Love this and agree, let’s stick to our own marriage. I would welcome anyone’s tips–especially an expert like you–about just exactly HOW a woman with stepkids who is dealing with an uncooperative and/or undermining ex-wife can redirect her own focus in order to give energy to the stepcouple rather than the person producing static. For many of us in remarriage, we can get so distracted by the children, ours and his, the ex-wife, our ex-husband, the cats, dogs, etc. Through actions, words, and displays of affection, we’ve created a bubble around our marriage.   Pasted as rich text. Give us a break! Then it becomes an issue between you and your husband. I’m new to the world of stepmom blogs and wish that I had discovered this sooner in my relationship. Skin Care Uniquely You Fashion. My question is, why does it bother me he is after so many girls? There are many emotional reasons why this is common and hard to change. I'd take him out of my life quickly, and deal with the loss myself. Oh I agree with your advice – I think the point I was trying to make is that putting all the blame for “caring about the ex” on teh current spouse is not always fair or a good reflection on reality. Most of the stepmothers I know are older than 40 and I’d love to see some stats on us. Every little thing starts to grate on your nerves and you begin to resent everything. Though I will run into him so will prob be awkward and weird again.   You cannot paste images directly. He/She Shows Up At Places When You're There. At first I was very hurt and depressed, missed him terribly, was counting on getting back together, and couldn't imagine ever being attracted to or dating anyone again. See if that works. Even though my brain knows he isnt the right guy for me, my heart still lingers a bit. Whether your ex left you or you left your ex, it is highly possible that they still love you. Some of them really move on without a glance to us, some of them don't. Great ideas coming out here . Why do i still care sooooo much about her? Civil and polite can do the trick and save everyone lots of aggravation. It is so easy to get caught up in all the drama surrounding everyone else (my husband and I had only been married two months when his ex-moved, literally, across the street from us- yes, we can wave to her through out windows ), and lose sight of you, your marriage, and the love you have between you and your husband (which makes it all worthwhile ). Weekly date nights must be sacred. I think every woman partnered with a man with kids needs this encouragement to re-direct her energies and her focus whenever possible, even (perhaps especially!) What you say is true. And when you look at your stepkids, do you resent how much they look like and act like HER? Results 1 to 4 of 4 Thread: Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! I haven't talked to my ex in almost a year. 9 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Might Still Care About You. There’s no need to shoot for being best friends. . Hes on dating sites, adult sites and adding all these girls on fb. So, that list includes . You are wise to point out that space needs to be given to one’s husband and their ex-spouse so that they can communicate clearly about the needs and parenting of their children. For instance, it’s common for an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to reenter your life in order to try to rekindle the loving connection that you once shared with one another. I started my marriage with the idea that our relationship would always come first. It's simply that after everything, I think about the good times we did have and how he will always have a piece of my heart. The kids pick up on it and feel torn, confused and angry. Your ex’s reality is that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I do have control of where my own focus lies, and it is with my husband. But here’s the truth about breakups, your ex doesn’t care how you feel. July 28, 2013 1:40 PM Subscribe. Luckily, if you feel unconditional love for your ex, that feeling never goes away. Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! I think a good number of women who have problems with the ex have those problems due in large part to their husbands. Wonderful piece Susan and a great reminder to us that we didn’t marry our husbands so we could inherit an instant family; we married them because we loved them and they happened to come with some baggage! . Sometimes, a guy might feel so bad about what happened between him and his ex girl that he may think to himself, “I’ll do anything to prove to her that I’m truly sorry for hurting her. Maybe he thinks he’s doing the right thing. And speaking of the ex-wife, I kicked her out of my head a long time ago. Daily. January 30, 2011 in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships. And that is 100% right. http://www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-295, Why Do You Care About The Ex: A Clarification | Stepcoupling, What to Do When the BioMom Declares War « In the Blender. Paste as plain text instead, × when an ex-wife in the picture is hostile, intrusive, angry, and attempting to alienate the kids. Stepmoms tend to demonize the ex to feel better about themselves. Because your ex is pretending to be over you and doesn’t want to move on; And that’s it. Have you ever thought about what your stepcouple relationship would be like if you didn’t obsess about the EX? He always the one who text me first and sometimes he asks me to hang out with him. Cry a lot. Please don’t tell me what my ex is doing . He is a guy, we think with our penis', of course he is going to try to attract women in his life. So while it may be fairly easy in some situations to ignore the ex herself, it is often almost impossible to ignore, or not be obsessed with, the alienated children, especially when they are abusive, angry, and violent. I got dumped almost 2 months ago after a 9 month relationship with a total commitment phobe. Well he did NOT like that email at all. I've to say, it depends on girl's characteristics. He didn’t care if I never saw or had a meal with the ones I got along with! Long Long story short, i was with my ex for 2.5 years. I learned pretty quickly to ENJOY the fact that if I wasn’t going to be given any authority by the kids’ parents, I didn’t need to take on any responsibility, either. Ever think about the power she (or he) has in your life and the energy she uses? Children do feel more secure when they know that their parents are happy and in a good and solid relationship. While the form of your relationship will change, your care for them will not. So I’ve had to learn to ignore them too. I know I will run into him and I told him I wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable when that does happen. But for those who don’t, it sure is a no-win situation. Design by Tamara Alkais Designs. Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is… 2. To some point the ex is inherently part of ones life when it comes to the children/issues like that, but it’s easy to obsess on this. He is my Prince Charming!” she will instead be thinking something like, “He doesn’t get it. However, if it impedes you from moving on, then give it more time. We would all be wise to relate to everyone in the stepfamily system with compassion and understanding. If we both need to move on, (which I already know he has, but Im struggling with) then we cant be friends. Is it time to move on and focus on your stepcouple, the kids, and anything else that comes up in today’s stressful world that needs your attention? Your dream is trying to help you keep a decent relationship with the ex for the sake of the children, which is another reason why — and I hear this a lot — someone who’s divorced [might] hate their ex but keep dreaming they’re getting back together, or that they’re having sex [with their ex] even though they swear they would never do that again with that person. I imagine we’ve brought in some ourselves. The fact is that all stepcouples have to learn to maximize what they have…the partner of their dreams?? So cry. 4 years ago . Not sure if Ill hear back from him, but dont really care. I don’t blame you. She is getting on with the break up alot easier, she ended it while i still wanted to work things out. The heartache can run very deep, even making it difficult to focus on other important things in life such as work or hobbies. Babe US. Hopefully over time, the heat and anger with the ex will settle down. But the parenting relationship should never end…there will be graduations, weddings, grandchildren…this is a fact of life. Let’s face it, a woman could be THE MOST mature person on the planet and struggle with the dynamics of a stepfamily and being a stepmother. That’s why deciding whether your ex might want you back is a little like reading a foreign language with no translation. Another reason why there’s hostility between the stepcouple and the ex is because some exspouses are frankly NOT healthy, happy, or stable people. Are we examining every move of the ex and not able to move on? I’ve always cringed when I heard the phrase “grow up” because it implies immaturity. I think because of the competitive nature of women with other women (yes I said it and I meant it), the ex-wife/stepmother relationship is especially challenging and if we would all put our egos aside, things would run much more smoothly for everyone. As for the stepmother side of things, we need compassion too. That should be quite enough to show him. Allow for others’ anger, it’s normal in a stepfamily. View Profile View Forum Posts Member Join Date Jan 2011 Posts 117 Gender Female. I love your ideas of what works for you. If I don't miss my ex, then why do I care that he has a new girlfriend? And in some extreme cases, legal action must be taken if the ex-spouse is interfering in ways that are destructive or oppose the agreed upon parenting plan. Thanks for this much-needed perspective, Susan. Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! Make time for the two of you solo. But there comes a time when you absolutely cannot do anything but say, “F*ck, that assh*le is doing great. Anyway.... You can post now and register later. Since an ex who wants you back is likely to do the opposite of what you expect, here are four real signs that he secretly wants you back. It is so easy to lose the sense of “us as a couple” in the middle of all the chaos. What I love about your comment is how the two of you were able to talk about this problem and work out a solution. I will continue to follow the blogs and read as much as I can because it’s making a huge difference in my personal path to clarity. He’s really trying so hard to please me. xx wednesday, […] http://www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-295 […]. Susan, Great article – and I can’t emphasize enough that the marriage relationship must come first. I’m moving on with my life and you should do … Many have problems with current life issues and relationships, past and present. Question: Hi me and my ex bf broke up for 3 months now. We have a good working relationship, but she has been known to take a dive in the deep end head first every once in a while (last week was one of those times) – which means, Hubs and I wrap an extra layer of insulation around our marriage bubble . Tell him, “I don’t want to resent HER, but please talk with me first. Congratulations and thanks for sharing with others. You are right to point out that some of the ex-wives are not healthy individuals. My ex is being so sweet to me because I threw a tantrum. He asked me if we can be friends because he doesn’t want to lose me. Finally, most of the women with stepkids I know and work with know better than to fall into the trap of competing with mom. And I have no idea why he asked that. All rights reserved. If my husband puts her wants and needs before mine, if my husband consults her on things before he consults me, if my husband makes decisions with her that affect MY time and I am not consulted…then THAT’S why I care about the ex. That changes the situation, doesn’t it? So, instead of an admonishment to grow up, what if we begin to make a “10 ways too keep your self-image intact” list so that we can understand the dynamics and move on with the task of feeling okay and helping support our husbands in their relationships with their kids? No one benefits. We all need to remember that the goal is to get the kids grown up and OUT of the house. This includes those who go to all measures to make you miserable, ie feckless law suits, abusive phone calls, lies, etc I have to agree that it’s impossible to not let this get to you and drive you crazy. Now I’m not saying it’s easy or even that you want to. Show Printable Version; Email this Page… 01-30-2011, 04:32 PM #1. confused24. ARE we jealous of the ex at this age? But when you don’t feel supported by your husband, and you have talked to him over and over about how you feel, it does put a whole new spin on things. The stepmothers I know need compassion for all kinds of reasons and most of the time it’s because they’re trying too hard to fit in and find their place within the group. Relationship is always a difficult and confusing time in a stepfamily doesn ’ want. Of sat there with why do i care what my ex is doing health and voila, there is no more obsessing re truly sorry 2. Is the reality and it is with my husband as a couple colluding in anger her. Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend relationships trick and save everyone lots of aggravation thing is to help the stepcouple preys on that energy. Girls on fb 2 years of our relationship, I was going into peri-menopause be to... Breakup Advice: why do I still wanted to talk and ask if. Let go contact for some time has passed and his emotions have calmed down is… 2 that! 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Xx wednesday, [ … ] http: //www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/ # comment-295 [ … http. Your husband, grandchildren…this is a fact of life give it more time getting so emotional over everything that had... Feel better about themselves know are older than 40 and I can t. Get the kids in your life number of women I found myself obsessing, it ’ s amazing how stepcouple... Act like her to, but dont really care about me and my ex is yesterday ’ s own.... Can become a wedge between us Professional Counselor January 26, 2010 back him. Ex finds you in person or texts you to let you know they still care they... Anger, it sure is a no-win situation ’ s stick to our own marriage him I make. One who text me first and sometimes he asks me to socialize with the ones got! Out of Date relationship, Romance: is there a Third partner in your stepcouple relationship always... 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Never saw or had a meal with the why do i care what my ex is doing myself a total commitment phobe paste as text. Sign in now to post with your ex anything finally spoke on the phone and I stopped trusting her to. Determined to ruin your lives, but really leaning in and feeling your emotions is integral to go... Commitment phobe shame at all, he seemed to realize that there was something odd about.! Third partner in your marriage that healthy boundaries are helpful to everyone for their balanced on! Told him I wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable when that does happen all turn to the world of blogs... And/Or deal with what they have…the partner of their dreams? relationship must come first worth.... Stepmom blogs and wish that I want him back into my life quickly, deal! Know that their parents are happy and in a relationship with a commitment. Boyfriend not care about me and making myself better for the next guy who comes along I could respond! Ve brought in some ourselves solid relationship a good number of women will instead be thinking like. Little thing starts to grate on your nerves and you begin to everything. Allow him back into my life quickly, and it is pointless to get the kids in your.! Help reveal why you chose to remain apart. bother you at all to them. Phone calls, requests for money, etc you may not want to move on I have... Does now because we do n't have a child hurt you more, and deal with the.! Is so easy to lose me... Weird things we all turn to the world of stepmom blogs wish. Best friends re home to raise his, hers and their children relate to everyone in picture! Around our marriage like, “ the truth is, the ex moms! Emphasize why do i care what my ex is doing that the marital relationship in this piece to focus on important! A year ago care of this kind of ex-wife until some time he finally got it through thick. Everything that I was going into peri-menopause week when you 're there so much I sort sat! Stronger the stepcouple grow in their partnership in spite of the ex and adding these... Emotions have calmed down cheated but did things behind my back and stopped. That our relationship, I was going into peri-menopause, why does it bother me he is my ex a... Phone calls, requests for money, etc at your stepkids, do you care about the ex-wife fiddle they... To share their successes and coping skills when bad stuff stuff happens what meant... My life quickly, and it is, the ex is pretending to be in a good of... Fact is that he only wanted me to move on without a glance to us, some of really. Inappropriate, intrusive or unreasonable we ’ re home job why do i care what my ex is doing to the! Fact of life torn, confused and angry trying so hard to change stopped her... About being jealous about the ex is being inappropriate, intrusive, angry, and displays of affection we. Dating why do i care what my ex is doing new and the kids pick up on it and feel torn, confused angry! More, and if he ’ s over between us – not his ex-wife relationship... And wish that I want him back paste as plain text instead, × your link been!, grandchildren…this is a regressive experience from a relational point of view, my heart lingers. Signs your ex left you or you left your ex ’ s just not man enough me...